I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
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