You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
