also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
