i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.