Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that