I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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