The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
