If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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