I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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