its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
At least make sure they are 18
Why
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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