I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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