there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize