So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whose ass print is on the piano?
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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