So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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