her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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