But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
