puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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