I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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