call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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