Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
19 Worst Song Lyrics of All Time
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.