My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
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I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
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I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.