Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Randomize