in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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