Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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