I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
