If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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