I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I'm at about main and main street
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
