this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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