I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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