Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
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