I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
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currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
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He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize