I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
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