life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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