My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
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