Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize