Your mouth is God's brothel.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
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