Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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