She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
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Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
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My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
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