i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
