Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Randomize
