she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
