I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
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I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
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She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
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