I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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