She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
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