I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
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