There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
