Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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