cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
