This girl is more easily done than said...
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
