I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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