I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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