considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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