some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
